Crotch Rot
posted by Majestic Ape at 6:21 PM
So, the guy, on the bridge. He approaches me. Its dark. Its cold. He looks creepy. I look creepy.
He speaks first.
"Are you a crotch rot or a fetus face?" he asks tentatively.
"Hmmm..." I'm not really sure how to respond. After all, I have eyebrows, so I'm not really a fetus face. And I'm not harboring any yeasts or fungal infections so I'm not really a crotch rot either. But he seems like he could be interesting and I don't want to alienate him right off the bat so I just say "Both, I guess. How bout you?"
"Neither. You want to go forage for some wild lettuce saxifrage in rock creek park? You look like a forager," he states.
I am familiar with this lettuce saxifrage. I am dedicated to feasting free on wild edibles and this is one of my favorite wild salad greens. Even though its dark, we head for the park.
He speaks first.
"Are you a crotch rot or a fetus face?" he asks tentatively.
"Hmmm..." I'm not really sure how to respond. After all, I have eyebrows, so I'm not really a fetus face. And I'm not harboring any yeasts or fungal infections so I'm not really a crotch rot either. But he seems like he could be interesting and I don't want to alienate him right off the bat so I just say "Both, I guess. How bout you?"
"Neither. You want to go forage for some wild lettuce saxifrage in rock creek park? You look like a forager," he states.
I am familiar with this lettuce saxifrage. I am dedicated to feasting free on wild edibles and this is one of my favorite wild salad greens. Even though its dark, we head for the park.
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