Tuesday, December 20, 2005

tallahasee to birmingham

posted by Majestic Ape at 11:12 PM

I'm going to be posting in no particular order and skipping large parts of this tour, but I WILL GET THIS DONE.


The show in Tallahasee was on a Saturday night following our hell night in Miami. The drive to Tallahasee was long but not altogether unpleasant. I think I got to nap during the last hour and fell asleep hard.

The show was at a rather large venue, The Beta Bar, that we played with Enon in the fall of 2003. There were LOTS of opening bands. Some serious dudes were playing their tunes that night.

When it was our turn to play, I was pretty psyched. I wasn't in too much stomach pain AND I wasn't completely wrecked. My comedy intro was pretty funny (at least I thought it was) and the first two songs were smooth with good energy. It was in the third song that Joe shouted, "Oh I broke my foot! I'm serious!" He kept singing..kept dancing....kept going till the end.

And then-- we saw it.

It had definitely been altered in a structural way as evidenced by the massive bruising and swelling. He simply stepped on it in an odd way.

We shared a motel room with 2 of the Modey Lemon that night. One Modey Man found other shelter. We were lucky enough to have a room next to a couple that was in the middle of a massive, dramatic, violent break-up. They choose to voice their feelings outside of our room until 5:00 am. I think one of us may have called the front desk when we began to fear that someone was going to get killed.

On Sunday, we drove to Birmingham, AL. We took Joe to a 24 hour hospital and he learned that he had, in deed, fractured his foot. And while we were looking for food, Erick's phone rang. Who should be in town, but our super fan from Memphis, Mike B.! He has now driven to St.Louis (twice), Birmingham, AL, Columbia, MO, Jackson, MS, and seen us in his home town 2 or 3 times. Man, that guy is dedicated!!!!

Our show was at a club called "The Nick". The soundman and bartender were really wonderful people. Afterward, two local folks were kind enough to offer to share their home with us for the night. They had literally just moved into a large apartment close to the club and had no furniture yet. We were happy to sleep on their clean wood floors.

When we arrived, we discovered that we were sharing the apartment with hundreds of cockroaches. Roaches in the kitchen, roaches in the bathroom, roaches in the living rooms. It wasn't anyone's fault. When the apartment sat vacant for so long, the roaches just had a breeding party.

I was the first to fall asleep. The lights were all on and everyone was just sitting in their sleeping bags on the floor. I remember pulling my coat over my head so the roaches wouldn't go up my nose or in my ears. (Later Erick told me that they photographed me while I was sleeping. Apparently, when I sleep, I make the most horrible facial expressions imaginable. They likened my face to a highly pained baby. I can't wait to see that picture.)

I woke up at 7:00 am on the wood floor with my head still stuffed in my coat. I was also soaking wet (for some reason, I have been having insane night sweats every night for the last two months of tour) and wake up drenched. Well, I had to take a shower. No shower curtain. No shower rod. I had to do it UK style whilst the roaches were running around all over the sink and the bathroom floor.

I was out the door with all of my gear by 7:20 am and planned to just go rest in the van. Joe and Jeff were already in there, fast asleep, all bundled up. I have never seen two people sleep in the van. They figured it out how to flatten the front seat and sleep on the point where the front and back seat connect. I was screwedIt was freezing out. My hair was wet and I had nowhere to go.

Threw my suitcase in the van and found the only coffee shop in town that was open...at St. Vincent's Hospital. I met a nice lady who was reading a book called "Being Dead Is No Excuse!".

Modey Lemon Jason and Phil woke up around 11:00. I brought them back to the hospital. We all made a few friends there as folks are awful friendly in Birmingham and those bisuits and grits sure smelled good.

I kept walking by the chemo ward and felt like an ass.

Later we all went to the hippy co-op cafe in town. Paul Q. asked a guy wearing a turban if they recycled.

He said, "I doubt it," and threw the bottle in the trash.

Our last activity in Birmingham was to visit Vulcan Park. I peed there about 6 times before we left.

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hey, you left out Louisville, KY! thre should be a rule that states apes and modey lemon always tour together from now on. a great one-two rock and roll punch.-mike b.

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