Wednesday, February 22, 2006

forage for wild edibles continues

posted by Majestic Ape at 5:03 PM

My name is Amanda but everyone calls me either MajesticApe or Kleiny or AmandaApe.

It is the middle of February in Washington, DC, and the Apes are home for a few more weeks before we leave for our sxsw tour around Austin, Texas. For those of you who don't know The Apes, we are a weird rock band. I play the organ. We have been together since 1999. I used to be a teacher full time. We all make art, we all make music, we all write. We all have traveled extensively in vans.

When I am at home in DC, I spend my days teaching children, making music, making art, and making highly nutritous food. I love brightly colored vegetables! I love brightly colored fruits! I think most American grocery store food is SHIT. Most fastfood is SHIT. That's the hardest part about being on the road for me. I don't have lots of money and I love to find food in the woods. This search for wild edibles often brings me in touch with other crazy characters because it happens at odd times of the day and evening hours.

The tale that I am trying to tell is part of the most recent tale.

Gathering wild greens is a happy way to sharpen a satisfactory hunger even if you go no farther than to collect a bagful of common dandelions.

Thursday, February 02, 2006

Crotch Rot

posted by Majestic Ape at 6:21 PM

So, the guy, on the bridge. He approaches me. Its dark. Its cold. He looks creepy. I look creepy.

He speaks first.

"Are you a crotch rot or a fetus face?" he asks tentatively.

"Hmmm..." I'm not really sure how to respond. After all, I have eyebrows, so I'm not really a fetus face. And I'm not harboring any yeasts or fungal infections so I'm not really a crotch rot either. But he seems like he could be interesting and I don't want to alienate him right off the bat so I just say "Both, I guess. How bout you?"

"Neither. You want to go forage for some wild lettuce saxifrage in rock creek park? You look like a forager," he states.

I am familiar with this lettuce saxifrage. I am dedicated to feasting free on wild edibles and this is one of my favorite wild salad greens. Even though its dark, we head for the park.