Wednesday, June 22, 2005

green bay, WI

posted by Majestic Ape at 11:18 PM

Its Father's Day. We spend the day in Milwaukee. We hang out with our host, Stephanie who is incredibly nice and entertaining. I will attach pictures of her very soon. First we go to the food co-op for breakfast. Walking back to the van, I notice a very small child alone on the sidewalk. He plays with a hole in the ground.

Then we go to the Domes. There is an entrance fee. We leave.

We find Lake Michigan, park the van, and split up. We sight a coffee shop and Erick thinks he sees the guy from American Movie in the parking lot. I tell him to go say hi. He's embarassed, doesn't do it. We walk out on the jetty. The war is pretty foul looking but I just pretend its the ocean and the sky couldn't be more blue. We go down to the beach and touch the water. We've been touching the water at various beaches for almost 16 years.

Back at the coffee shop, I call my dad. We leave.

We pull up at the club in Green Bay. It’s a tiny little local bar called the Main Stage and every store on the block is either boarded up or its closed for the night. Sunday nights in small towns tend to be very quiet and I imagine, on father’s day, things will be even more quiet. There are a few locals in the bar when we arrive. I walk up to one older fellow who I don’t remember from the last time we are here. I say, “Hi, I’m Amanda. I’m in The Apes.”

He replies, “No, you’re gorgeous!”.

Uh oh. Its gonna be one of these nights.

I ask what’s for dinner. “Its burgers, “ says Mr.Gorgeous. I tell him we are vegetarians.

“I can make ya pizza but I don’t know what I’m gonna put on it.”

Maybe some cheese?

He finds mushrooms, onions, and green peppers.

They make us a tiny pizza to share. Its actually pretty good. We ask for another. I’m full but eat a few more baby squares anyway.

I go for a walk to call my grandfather (father’s day) because I have to shout for 40 minutes and prefer to avoid populated places when making this family phone call. I end up walking into a community that appears to be some kind of government subsidized housing project. Nothing like a glowing midget white girl shouting and pacing on a cell phone for 40 minutes to attract unwanted attention. Mostly I just get the ‘furrowed brow’ and ‘head shaking’ stares. A few lip scowls, too. Granddad makes his usual suggestions for APES marketing schemes and as always, suggests we hit the Florida nightclub and nursing home circuit. Then we can stop at his unit along the way and all for of us can take him out to breakfast and he can show us off to his cronies. I don’t think my troupe would make him that proud. Its not the surgical team. He offers to write me another song to record because his lyrics are romantic and sentimental and that’s whats missing from today’s music. He also suggests that Paul and I do a musical theater type routine on stage.

“Paul should wear a long white beard and tall black hat and you should wear an old fashioned pattern floral dress and you should sing eachother love songs back and forth. I can write songs for that! Its my dying wish for my songs to be recorded and published by my famous rock star granddaughter!”

“Granddad, I’m not famous, I’m not a rock star, and you aren’t dying. You are only deaf!”

“Vat, Vat did you say?”.

“I said I love you and I’ll talk to you next week!”

Back at the bar, more locals have gathered. One larger fellow comes in the his dog and tells folks that he slept till 2 pm today, got up to call his dad, and then rolled over and went back to bed. He was gonna come see Apes play tonight but he really wanted to play Command and Conquer on his computer for several hours.

Another older fellow launches into a discussion about sex.

“I would like to have some orgasms. That’s the word they use now. Orgasms. In my day we just called it ‘cummin’. Shit, I want multiple orgasms. I guess multiple Cummins don’t quite sound right. “

The song “Its Been a While” by Stained comes on the jukebox. Everyone begins singing along. Loudly.

I go sit in the van. Moments later, I am startled when there is a middle-aged white guy knocking on the window next to me.

“How much?” he says.

“Get out of here!” I shout.

“HOW MUCH?!” he shouts at me.

“GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!” I holler in my most authoritative sounding voice. He disappears. I’m actually a little shaken up because I’m sitting in this parking lot alone with nary a bandmate in sight. Not that I’m scared. I already figure it might be the only sketchy thing that happens this tour.

The show opens with IfIHadAHifi from Milwaukee. They are pretty funny and entertaining to watch. Next is the Mystery Girls. I talk to their guitarist Jordan after the show. He is a very friendly fellow. I talk to someone else but can’t remember his name.

We play. I suck. I have no energy. Its all gone to that pizza digestion process. I feel bad. There is no room to rock either as the stage is really cramped.

The fellows that own the bar, Pat, offers to host us for the night. Pat owns a ranch outside of town and the sound guy, the door guy, and the bartender all live with him. Later I find out that the big guy who was gonna play Command and Conquer lives there as well.

We follow them home. Its really in the country and we park by the barn with all the wrecked sports car parked in front of it.

When we walk in, the big guy (later I learn that his name is Fish) is sitting in a recliner. He is watching RoboCop II on the biggest wide screen television that I’ve ever seen. The boys sit down and begin a lengthy discussion of every actor from that movie. Then the discuss every other role that every actor from that movie, ever played. I scope the kitchen. I wonder what Kleiny -safe snacks might be available for the taking (by Kleiny-safe, I mean without corn syrup). I spy some Tabasco flavored popcorn. Perfect! I ask the door guy about the popcorn. Says it has been there since early 2004. Better yet. They won’t miss it.

Moments later, a small boy appears in the kitchen. He is the soundman’s son. They are both named Kim. He is visiting from southern Wisconsin and pretty psyched that school is out so he can spend some time with his daddy. Kim jr might even get to move in with his daddy. Scott (the one who called me gorgeous) is not down with this idea. He dudn’t like kids much and don’t want ‘em around. Poor Kim, Jr. He’s really sweet. I talk to him about school for a few minutes.

Pat gets a booty call at about 3:30 am and offers me his bed to sleep in.

“I been sleeping out so much for the last month, my sheets ain’t hardly dirty at all.”


I make my way to the rear bedroom and am excited to see that I will be spending the evening in a bedroom with a black lacquer furniture and Asian decorating themes.

In the morning, Scott makes us coffee. His hand trembles as he pours.

“Ya see, if I make coffee in the morning, I can pretend that the hand shaking is from the caffeine and not the booze that I haven’t started drinkin’ yet. That’s the trouble with bein an alcoholic when you are a bartender.”

I can see how that would be rough. Like a binge eater with anorexic tendencies working in a bakery or a restaurant or walking. Anywhere.

I sit with scott on the van bench out on the deck and we drink coffee while he smokes.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

If you were at altera by the Lake, I assure you that he did see the guy from America Movie, he lives in my neighborhood and goes there alot, he also has been known to show up at basement shows from time to time...

Yale Delay - ifihadahifi

11:38 AM  

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